I still wanted everybody to know that I was fine, keeping the mask up and wanting to vanish at the same time. I remember those moments when I was cutting my skin just to feel something. I felt despaired, hopeless, exhausted, empty, sad and all I could do was keep on functioning. Any joy for life, not to think of any creativity, was dead in me. I did not feel connected to my body, my soul or myself. I was only doing the things that made sense to my mind. I knew I had met a dead end and when I mentally said goodbye to all my loved ones, I simply felt like I couldn’t do this to them. I couldn’t leave this planet for the sake of my loved ones. I couldn’t just leave them, so the only chance I had was to change my ways.

Over the years of recovery I became highly self reflective and aware about all the patterns and past conditionings. I trained my spiritual gifts and empathy to detect any misaligned energies in my system. I learned how to recharge my chakra system. I released karmic bonds and did white table work to resolve the past war trauma that my family line had inherited from our grandfather. With mind blowing results in me and the people around me. 

But then, being close to the end of my studies, it was my existential fears that kept me up for nights. And money was only a physical representation for my energy level. 

No matter how hard I tried to cultivate some energy, it never seemed to last. 

I worked on my mindset, doing healthy exercises and diets, sleeping a lot and I still felt drained and like I was constantly losing energy.

The worst part of it all was my low self worth and self esteem. I simply did not feel worthy of being loved or being happy. I felt like I was just here to give and sacrifice myself in trying to make others happy. On the outside I lived a well adapted and socially accepted, normal life. Yet inside I felt still soo misplaced and lonely. As a child I was bluntly speaking my truth and sharing what I picked up with my hypersensitivity and empathic psychic abilities.  I was called crazy, weirdo or simply stated as having a wrong perception until I fully lost trust in myself.

Taking decisions was a never ending and very tiring process and it felt like I followed a path that was built on the influence and expectations of others. I felt very lost and still was missing enough self love to live my life the way I wanted. I knew I had invested so much hard work to get to a stable, healthy place and living an unfulfilled life, ignoring my inner voice would make me sick again. So this time I needed to change my path on the outside. Luckily. During the same time I intuitively learned the method of soul retrieval and called back the missing pieces of my soul that I had lost with the traumatic life experience. 

After that work for the first time in my life, I was finally able to develop my own will and start walking the path in life that I truly wanted to be on. I strengthened my inner voice and started listening to it. 

It was shortly after that happening that my real journey started and my spiritual abilities fully woke up. I started meeting spiritual people and for the first time in life I came across others speaking and sensing the same things like I did. Excitedly I learned that all the “meditations” and experiences I had found inside myself were known in ancient healing traditions and I came across the names for the techniques I had remembered and developed just by my intuition. Finally it all made sense!

I stepped on my own journey of spiritual business building and finally truly followed my mission and created the work I came here for. I had access to my full potential and built the free and wealthy dream life that I am living today. My own business took a complete new turn and instead of the daily struggle and hustle I learned how to manifest all things with ease and an astonishing accuracy in my life! I was able to overcome the distorted connection with myself and others, having the channels open for both my emotions as well as my spiritual gifts. Most importantly I am loving myself. I am happy and experiencing the magic and wonders of life every day with the most grateful heart. I am full of energy, creating with ease and being in complete trust about all the steps in life to unfold exactly as they should. Any control or limitations are removed from my field and I know I am doing exactly what I am here for! 

As the rainbow woman I am now helping others with the secrets in unlocking their full potential and upgrading their energy to shine their beautiful light on this planet. It is my true heart’s desire to help others to raise their consciousness and step on their life journey as the most empowered and true self.